nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize