Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
