You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
