tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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