Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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