so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
