I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
