White coat. Heels.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
