so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Randomize
