Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
