erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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