:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
