brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
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Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
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Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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