You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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