my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
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She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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