Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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