so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
