i may or may not be watching the land before time
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
