Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
