No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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