if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Randomize
