I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
