I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
