plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
This is classic penis vs brain.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
