my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
