I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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