How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
