it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
