maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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