Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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