Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
