he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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