Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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