Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
