Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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