I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
is it fun? or sober?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
