belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think I sprained my soul last night
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
