doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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