so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
