yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I think weed is turning my hair brown
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
