dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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