if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize