Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
