This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize