i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
