Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
