Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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