She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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