just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
