does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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