we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
