So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
