Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
