I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
