Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
