You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
how does that bad decision feel?
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