just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
