Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize