when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
